Therapy 101

When you have low self-esteem it can be really helpful to write a list of things you like about yourself. It helps you focus on the positives, and when you feel bad later you can go look at your list and decide that none of it is true and you still suck.

Just for you, I’ve made an example list of why I’m awesome. You can use it as a template for your own list, or just read it and judge me.

1. I have really thick, juicy retinas. There are no holes in my retinas.

2. The four fingernails I don’t bite are really lovely when there is no dirt under them.

3. I am a nice person on the inside where it counts. Like, I think nice thoughts, like “Wow, that fat bitch actually washed her hair today! Good for her!”

4. I’m really good at the process of cooking, like stirring things and mixing stuff. I’m still working on getting the product right, but life is about the journey, not the destination, and cooking should be too.

5. I am afraid of everything, which is actually great, because I’m always mentally prepared for anything horrible that happens. So when something terrible goes down, I don’t need to get upset. I can just take a deep breath and say, “Called it.”

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2 Responses to Therapy 101

  1. keamli says:

    6. You write amusing blog posts.

  2. keamli says:

    7. You always follow through. Like when you send your sister her birthday package four months later. BAM — the through has been followed.

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