Today Tom literally snatched my laptop away from me and dragged me out of my chair to go get a milkshake.
“Stop it. This is porn. You are masturbating.* We were supposed to leave an hour ago.”
“I WASN’T FINISHED LOOKING AT THAT PAGE.”
“You are now. It will be there when we get back. You need to take a break.”
“BUT TOM. DID YOU SEE THE CAKE ON THAT PAGE??”
“That was a photo. The milkshakes are real. Let’s go.”
“PHOTOS ARE REAL TOO. IT WOULD BE REAL IF I BAKED IT. I HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH CAKE I WANT TO MAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.”
“Your birthday is two months away. And stop talking in caps lock.”
(*I was not masturbating. However, I will admit that I may have been salivating.)
And then I sulked out the door and we went and got milkshakes and then came back and sat in bed and watched Digimon on Tom’s laptop but I still might have snuck on to some food blogs after he left to bookmark some more recipes. I know the idea of “food porn” is not new, but the realization that I myself have become a chronic salivator is still a little disheartening. And delicious.