Things I did while scientists were discovering the Higgs boson

-Ate slightly undercooked mac & cheese with ketchup.

-Considered picking my nose (because nobody seemed to be looking anyways) but ultimately opted for a tissue.

-Avoided doing dishes until they really started to smell and then finally sucked it up and washed them but just threw away that moldy tupperware because it was cheap and I could probably never get the smell out anyway.

-Did Science.

-Told blatant lies about doing Science (actually technically that happened about 5 seconds ago, which was actually after they discovered it).

-Honestly I don’t even know if you’re supposed to capitalize the word Large (in Large Hadron Collider) or what CERN even stands for.  Also can you pluralize the word boson?  Because everyone just keeps saying “the Higgs boson” as if there is only one, ever, but the only thing there could ever be only one of, ever, is Freddie Mercury.  There will never be another Queen.  Speaking of Queen I think it would be really appropriate for all the scientists who participated in this research to be blasting We Are the Champions right now.

-In completely unrelated news (as always), happy 4th of July.  Congratulations, America.  You’re getting old and fat.

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3 Responses to Things I did while scientists were discovering the Higgs boson

  1. zadimortis says:

    Undercooking is the ONLY way to make mac and cheese. Al Dente mac, and thick, gooey cheese. oh yeah.
    You are supposed to capitalize Large; the full acronym is LHC @ CERN. And of course you can have bosons in the plural: for bosons in general, there’s like a kajillion hobillion brazilian of them. In fact, in the discovering of the Higgs itself, there were like 9072039469287364927364 of them: that’s how they got the data for it (if there weren’t a lot, they wouldn’t have seen such a massive spike in the energy range of the Higgs itself).
    Also, colleagues of his are pushing for Peter Higgs to get knighted. lol.
    And I watched the livestream of CMS and ATLAS’s presentation of their findings at CERN before the press release, and although there was no singing of We Are The Champions, there was a hell of a lot of cheering and standing ovating (how do you write that in active tense? stood and ovated? standing and ovating? idk) and one of the older researchers who was on the electroweak symmetry research project at Fermilab 25 years ago (which started this whole thing off) commented that it felt more like a football crowd than a physics crowd. It was pretty sweet (and I actually knew a lot of what they were talking about in the research findings! gasp).

    • deardenton says:

      As always thank you for the clarification. I love having friends who make me smarter :)
      At first when I saw the number 907203946928736427364 I thought that was actually a precise number that you had looked up. Then I realized that was ridiculous and of course you had memorized it.

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