Really though, this is what I wanted to be when I grew up:

A dalmation.  I wanted to be a dalmation.  Like so:

What?  DEARDENTON is evolving!  Congratulations!  Your DEARDENTON evolved into STUPIDDOG!

I hear it pays really well, y’all.

Luckily, I eventually got totally sane and realized what I actually wanted to be was a cartoonist.  Then I found out I’m not funny, so I went to music school and started a blog.

(Somewhere in there I thought maybe I would be a chemical engineer or maybe go to med school until I realized that chemistry and all other profitable, mankind-advancing fields are boring as balls.  Also I still can’t do math.)

Yesterday, as I sat around doing nothing, I was making high-pitched noises and growling the word “shamone” like Michael Jackson, like I do every day all the time, and Tom said “You.  Need.  A.  Hobby.”  Which was super rude because I already have a LOT of hobbies.  Here is a list of some of my favorites:

-Practicing snapping on beats 2 & 4 when I listen to jazz because that’s how to be ultra hip.

-Looking at recipes on the internet.

-Readjusting my laptop on my lap to find the perfect spot where it’s not burny on my legs but also is easy to type and I can still read the screen.

-Pushing my glasses up my nose.

-Bothering Tom.

-Being obscene.

-Thinking about things I could do if I had more money.

-Thinking about ways to earn money that don’t involve getting out of bed.

-Putting off getting out of bed.

-Writing blog posts about how much I don’t like to get out of bed.

-Using my imagination!


And my favorite, which I am going to do as soon as I finish this post:

-Staring vacantly.

This entry was posted in Bad ideas, Nothing in particular and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Really though, this is what I wanted to be when I grew up:

  1. zadimortis says:

    Don’t give up on that Staring Vacantly one. You could have a future as a politician.


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