A dalmation. I wanted to be a dalmation. Like so:
I hear it pays really well, y’all.
Luckily, I eventually got totally sane and realized what I actually wanted to be was a cartoonist. Then I found out I’m not funny, so I went to music school and started a blog.
(Somewhere in there I thought maybe I would be a chemical engineer or maybe go to med school until I realized that chemistry and all other profitable, mankind-advancing fields are boring as balls. Also I still can’t do math.)
Yesterday, as I sat around doing nothing, I was making high-pitched noises and growling the word “shamone” like Michael Jackson, like I do every day all the time, and Tom said “You. Need. A. Hobby.” Which was super rude because I already have a LOT of hobbies. Here is a list of some of my favorites:
-Practicing snapping on beats 2 & 4 when I listen to jazz because that’s how to be ultra hip.
-Looking at recipes on the internet.
-Readjusting my laptop on my lap to find the perfect spot where it’s not burny on my legs but also is easy to type and I can still read the screen.
-Pushing my glasses up my nose.
-Thinking about things I could do if I had more money.
-Thinking about ways to earn money that don’t involve getting out of bed.
-Putting off getting out of bed.
-Writing blog posts about how much I don’t like to get out of bed.
-Using my imagination!
And my favorite, which I am going to do as soon as I finish this post: