Warning: this post is rated PG-13.
Lots of people got married this weekend. I assume it was because it’s fun to have 6/9 as your anniversary for the rest of your life. I bet that number is still funny when you’re old as hell and too creaky and brittle and uninterested to actually do anything sexual except make jokes in poor taste.
(Pause here to note that I am pretty sure 6/9-ing is just like 69-ing except with someone planking in the middle. Way to go, internet.)
Tom & I were at one of these 6/9 weddings this weekend. It was nice. Except for this part:
Tom: Don’t catch the bouquet. Oh god, please don’t catch the bouquet. ….Wait, what am I saying? You can’t catch anything.
Me: I’m insulted that you so adamantly do not want to marry me. (Note to self: try being insulted at the actual insult next time too)
Tom: In all seriousness, I just don’t want to be engaged until I can afford a super-awesome ring.
Me: Well I’m flattered that you’d wait to get me an awesome ring. Assuming you’re thinking of me and not your other girlfriend.
Tom: No, it’s for my other girlfriend. She can actually catch flowers.
Here are more things Tom’s other girlfriend does better than me:
-Identify Family Guy & Anchorman quotes used in conversation.
-Win at video games.