I have two friends from high school that live on the internet now. I’m tempted to somehow explain away that sentence to avoid looking like I only have two friends, but in all honestly I actually only have maybe four friends so any explanation would probably just be terribly, terribly embarrassing and pathetic. So I have two friends from high school that live on the internet.
One of them is studying physics and one of them is studying microbiology. Both of them have amazing internships at the moment where they are doing incredible Science. Last time I did Science was at the alchemy table in Skyrim. I use the Extremely Scientific method of Guess and Check. Because that’s how all the greats do it. (I’m not entirely sure if that’s actually a math thing or a science thing. I swear I knew the difference once upon a time, like in 5th grade, when it mattered.)
These two brilliant friends of mine were conversing on facebook about their internships and I desperately, desperately wanted to be equally amazing at changing the world. The conversation went like this:
Mr. Physics: The project suggested for me involves setting up the robotic arm that moves the couch (where the patient sits) to automatically correct its position based on images sent by a camera they just got.
Ms. Micro: I’m actually doing research on a virus that preferentially kills cancer cells, and my project is looking at how specific parts of the outer proteins of the virus affect cell entry.
…(drawn-out internet silence of Grand Impressive-ness)
Me: I TEACH KIDS TO CLAP.
And that’s why music teachers get paid so little.