On changing the world

I have two friends from high school that live on the internet now. I’m tempted to somehow explain away that sentence to avoid looking like I only have two friends, but in all honestly I actually only have maybe four friends so any explanation would probably just be terribly, terribly embarrassing and pathetic.  So I have two friends from high school that live on the internet.

One of them is studying physics and one of them is studying microbiology.  Both of them have amazing internships at the moment where they are doing incredible Science.  Last time I did Science was at the alchemy table in Skyrim.  I use the Extremely Scientific method of Guess and Check.  Because that’s how all the greats do it.  (I’m not entirely sure if that’s actually a math thing or a science thing.  I swear I knew the difference once upon a time, like in 5th grade, when it mattered.)

These two brilliant friends of mine were conversing on facebook about their internships and I desperately, desperately wanted to be equally amazing at changing the world.  The conversation went like this:

Mr. Physics: The project suggested for me involves setting up the robotic arm that moves the couch (where the patient sits) to automatically correct its position based on images sent by a camera they just got.

Ms. Micro: I’m actually doing research on a virus that preferentially kills cancer cells, and my project is looking at how specific parts of the outer proteins of the virus affect cell entry.

…(drawn-out internet silence of Grand Impressive-ness)

Me: I TEACH KIDS TO CLAP.

And that’s why music teachers get paid so little.

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5 Responses to On changing the world

  1. DUDE
    Guess and Check is actually a really REALLY legitimate thing. let me explain:
    There is a theorem thing in differential equations that we learned in E&M called the Uniqueness Theorem: basically, if you have a system defined by a differential equation with boundary conditions, and you can guess or make up a solution that
    1.) fits the boundary conditions, and
    2.) makes sense
    then it MUST be the ONE unique solution.

    You have no idea how satisfying it is to look at a problem that seems absolutely hideous, guess a solution that fits the boundary conditions, and SOLVING THE PROBLEM IN LIKE TWENTY SECONDS.

    so yeah. super legit.

  2. Guess and check applies to everything. I use it for music all the time! :) Also, is it bad that when you said “live on the internet” I immediately assumed you were talking about me? Because I actually do.

    • deardenton says:

      I know you do. When I think about you, I imagine a small room with a table, and a chair, which you are sitting in, in front of a computer. There are no doors or windows. You do not eat or sleep.

  3. I’ll be checking for hidden cameras when I get home…creeping me out!

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